We all love a good getaway now and again, where you can spend time with loved ones and create memories with the perfect photos to look back on. However, it can be more than difficult to remember to reach for your mirrorless camera when dealing with travel anxiety and always trying to protect the ones around you, in fear of something happening away from home.
Early 2016, I was diagnosed with anxiety and left jobless up until February 2017. During my year with no job, I spent a lot of time at home applying for hundreds of jobs, binge-watching a lot of TV and having a lot of me time. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a bit of me time more than anything – however, a whole year of it can really do something to a person.
Between 2016 and 2017, I was in this little bubble of me, myself and I – the outdoors becoming extremely scary to me. Coming up to the time where I was ready to start my new job – I was absolutely terrified. The thought of leaving the comfort of my home, terrified me. I was paranoid 24/7 that as soon as I stepped out of the house, I was going to get hurt, a car was going to hit me, a bomb was going to go off… I just thought the worst in everything.
I have come away from those thoughts in my hometown, feeling slightly more reassured that nothing is going to deliberately happen to me, but my anxiety reaches a whole other level when I’m away from my hometown and travelling to other locations.
Last weekend (Friday March 1st – Sunday March 3rd), I was going away with my cousin (aka my best friend, aka my sister) to Sheffield for a couple nights away to ourselves and also to attend an Ariana Grande ‘Thank U, Next’ event. Sheffield is only about a 20 – 30 minute train journey from where I live, but because I’m not familiar with the city, my nerves immediately kicked in the night before we was set to go. I was so unbelievably excited for a weekend away, but that didn’t stop the fear growing inside of me.
Not only did the fear of being in a new city heighten my anxiety, but being away from my family also had me really panicked. What if something happens to me and I never see my family again? What if something happens to a family member whilst I’m away and I wasn’t there to be with them? My anxiety can scarily get the best of me.
The past weekend has really made me incredibly proud of myself, and we captured some photos that I can now look back on and say, “I did it.” Not only that, but these photos I would like to share with you today, now hold so many amazing memories and will always remind me of the best weekend I’ve ever had.
The Ariana Grande ‘Thank U, Next’ event was held at the Walkabout in Sheffield, 10pm – 3am and consisted of music from our Queen herself, with a mix of other artists in between. I hope this doesn’t come across as far-fetched, but because of the tragedy that happened at Ariana’s ‘Dangerous Woman’ tour, I have always had this concept in my head that people have it out for Ariana and if the wrong person see’s an event dedicated to Ariana, they’re going to try and sabotage it. In my head I came up with the worst possible outcomes of our night out and had to take my medication along to calm me down and stop myself from becoming a paranoid wreck.
It always ends up with me saying to myself “why on earth did you allow yourself to get that worked up, when everything went so smoothly?” and this was the exact same. From the second we got up on to the dance floor, we danced the absolute night away. We sung along to Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!!! It was just an absolute blast and I don’t think it was until between 1:00-2:00am that we realised how ridiculously packed the entire club was. I was having that much of a good time, I completely forgot that there was even people around me and my cousin. We let our hair down, allowed ourselves to be whoever we wanted to be, filmed ourselves dancing and singing, made friends, drank the night away and most importantly, I had fun.